Funny Fishing Joke(s)

[Spade]

Here's mine to start out: (just read it in....stupid long title:
How to Catch Salmon, Sturgeon, Lingcod, Rockfish, and Halibut Alon the Pacific Coast by Wayne Heinz)

A couple vacations at the bay
The husband returns from his morning fishing,
and leaves his tackle in the boat.
His wife grabs a book and takes the boat out.
Game warden, Bill Wilcox, motors up.
"Good Morning, ma'am. What are you doing?"
"I'm reading my book."
"You're in a restricted fishing zone."
"But I'm not fishing."
"Sorry but, you have the equipment. I'm going to ticket you."
"If you do, I'm going to charge you with rape."
"But I haven't touched you!"
"True. But you have the equipment."

[Fishnfool]

Now that's funny:D

[stephan009l]

Very nice!! haha:)

[Spade]

This one made me laugh today:



Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
And the girl said, 'NO!'
So the guy remained single and rode motorcycles, and went fishing and hunting, and played lots of golf, and drank beer and scotch, and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted.
And he lived happily ever after.

The End

[kirkster]

This one made me laugh today:



Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?'
And the girl said, 'NO!'
So the guy remained single and rode motorcycles, and went fishing and hunting, and played lots of golf, and drank beer and scotch, and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up, and farted whenever he wanted.
And he lived happily ever after.

The End

:D:D This is no joke at all even though it made me laugh its so tru. I think someone should make the above words manditory at the beginning of all wedding vows.lol I bet it would cut down on alot of I do'slol

[worm slayer]

Hey now not all of us are like that. Tracy just doesn't ride a motorcycle but that is not because of me. The farting on the other hand I would love to be in control of that.:D

[Shortbus]

By far my favorite since I'm in sales also....

Fishing For a Sale A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in the world - you could get anything there. The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up." The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman. "Only one?" blurted the boss, "most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "Three hundred thousand dollars," said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "Well," said the salesman "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one and a huge big one. I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. I said he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took him to the car department and sold him the new Deluxe Cruiser." The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook?" "No," answered the salesman "He came in to buy a box of Tampons for his wife and I said to him, 'Your weekend's shot, you may as well go fishing.

[worm slayer]

Thats a good one.:D

[Spade]

:) Yes, I like that one too!

[ryank]

This is some good stuff! :D

[Chinook SSSF]

Thanks for the good humor!

[Shortbus]

Another that makes me smile....

His'n'Hers Diaries
>
> Her Diary:
>
> Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
>
> On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and
kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted no-thing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.
>
> Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15
minutes later, he came to bed. To my surprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were some-where else. He fell asleep--I cried. I didn't know what to do. I was almost sure that his thoughts were with someone else. My life is a disaster.
>
>
>
> His Diary:
>
> Missed a big steelhead today, but at least I got laid.

[worm slayer]

From a wifes point of view that is so true.

[stephan009l]

Alright shortbus, you got a laugh from me for sure haha:) As sad as it sounds thats probly what a lot of women go through when their guy looses that big 1 :p

[Spade]

HAHA Love it!

[bait dunker]

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing - the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.

He explained that his wife had been a bit frisk...y the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of *** was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"

A Major chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.

"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.

God Bless the enlisted man.